There once was a man from Eugene
Who invented a fucking machine.
It was both concave and convex,
And could fuck either sex,
And jacked itself off in between.
There was a young man on Bombay
Who fashioned a cunt out of clay,
But the heat of his prick
Turned it to brick,
And chafed all his foreskin away.
There was a young fellow from Dallas
Who enjoyed doing things with his phallus.
So many tricks did he try
It became, by and by,
Little more than a leather-tough callus.
There was a young lady named May
Who frigged herself in the hay.
She bought a pickle–
One for a nickle–
And wore all the worts away!