There once was a man named Belini,
Who spilt some gin on his weenie.
Just to be cooth,
He added vermouth,
And slipped his girlfriend a martini.
There was an old fellow of Brest
Who sucked off his wife with a zest.
Despite her great howls
He sucked out her bowels,
And spat them all over her chest.
There was a young fellow of Buckingham,
Wrote a treatise on cunts and on sucking them,
But later his work
Was eclipsed by a Turk
Who topic was assholes and fucking them.
There once was a cuntlapper’s daughter
Who, despite all her father had taught her,
Would become so unstrung
At the touch of a tongue
That she’d deluge her beau with her water.
A Roman of old named Horatio
Was fond of a form of fellatio.
He kept accurate track
Of the boys he’d attack,
And called it his cock-sucking ratio.