Caviar comes from virgin sturgeon,
The virgin sturgeon’s a very fine fish,
The virgin sturgeon needs no urgin’,
That’s why caviar is my dish.
I gave caviar to my girlfriend,
She was a virgin tried and true,
Now my girlfriend needs no urgin’,
There ain’t nothin’ she won’t do.
I gave caviar to my grandpa,
He was a man of ninety-three
Screams and cries were heard from grandma,
Grandpa had chased her up a tree.
I fed caviar to my sweetheart
She always did it cheerfully
Now she does it with a vengeance
Oh my god, it’s killing me
I gave caviar to my bow wow,
All the others looked agog,
He had what those bitches wanted,
Wasn’t he a lucky dog?
My father was a lighthouse keeper,
He had caviar with his tea,
He had three children by a mermaid,
Two were fish, one was me!