The Bagpipe Song

(To: Scotland The Brave)

Here’s to the lassie with the black hairy assey,
Who was lifting up her kilty at the ______ Hash.
(pack does two lines sounding like a bagpipe)

Then there was the jockey with his upstanding cocky,
Who was riding on the lassie with the black hairy assey,
Who was lifting up her kilty at the ______ Hash.
(do two lines sounding like a bagpipe)

Then there was the Yankee who was wanking in his hanky,
At the thought of the jockey with the upstanding cocky,
Who was riding on the lassie with the black hairy assey,
Who was lifting up her kilty at the ______ Hash.
(bagpipe)

Then there was the queerie who was leering through his beery,
At the sight of the Yankee who was wanking in his hanky,
At the thought of the jockey with the upstanding cocky,
Who was riding on the lassie with the black hairy assey,
Who was lifting up her kilty at the ______ Hash.
(bagpipe)

Then there was the Harlot making money in the car lot,
To support the a’ queerie who was leering through his beery,
At the sight of the Yankee who was wanking in his hanky,
At the thought of the jockey with the upstanding cocky,
Who was riding on the lassie with the black hairy assey,
Who was lifting up her kilty at the ______ Hash.
(bagpipe)

Then there was the HASHER who was posing as a flasher,
Hustling customers from the Harlot making money in the car lot,
To support the a’ queerie who was leering through his beery,
At the sight of the Yankee who was wanking in his hanky,
At the thought of the jockey with the upstanding cocky,
Who was riding on the lassie with the black hairy assey,
Who was lifting up her kilty at the ______ Hash.
(bagpipe)

Then there was the Wenchy doing down-down on a benchy,
Making money for the HASHER who was posing as a flasher,
Hustling customers from the Harlot making money in the car lot,
To support the a’ queerie who was leering through his beery,
At the sight of the Yankee who was wanking in his hanky,
At the thought of the jockey with the upstanding cocky,
Who was riding on the lassie with the black hairy assey,
Who was lifting up her kilty at the ______ Hash.
(bagpipe)

Now the moral of this ditty is that when in ______ City,
And you’re with your favorite girlie,
Chasing hairs all short and curly,
Just remember to take her hashing and to give her a good bashing,
And keep her away from the Wenchy doing down-down on a benchy,
Making money for the HASHER who was posing as a flasher,
Hustling customers from the Harlot making money in the car lot,
To support the a’ queerie who was leering through his beery,
At the sight of the Yankee who was wanking in his hanky,
At the thought of the jockey with the upstanding cocky,
Who was riding on the lassie with the black hairy assey,
Who was lifting up her kilty at the ______ Hash.
(bagpipe)

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A drinking club with a running problem

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