Old King Cole

Melody – Old King Cole
(Take turns leading verses)

Old King Cole was a merry old soul,
And a merry old soul was he.
He called for his wife in the middle of the night,
And he called for his fiddlers three.
Now every fiddler had a very fine fiddle,
And a very fine fiddle had he.
Fiddle-diddle-dee, diddle-dee, said the fiddlers,
Merry, merry men are we,
There’s none so fair that can compare,
With the boys of the HHH.

Leader: How’s your father?
Pack: ALL RIGHT!
Leader: How’s your mother?
Pack: SHE’S TIGHT!
Leader: How’s your sister?
Pack: SHE MIGHT!
Leader: When was the last time?
Pack: LAST NIGHT!
Leader: When is the next time?
Pack: TONIGHT!
Leader: How’s your arsehole?
Pack: FULL OF SHITE!

Old King Cole, etc . . .
And he called for his tailors three,
Now every tailor had a very fine needle,
And a very fine needle had he.
Stick it in and out, in and out, said the tailors,
Fiddle-diddle-dee, diddle-dee, said the fiddlers,
Merry, merry men are we, etc . . .

Jugglers three – two very fine balls.
Throw your balls in the air, said the jugglers.

Butchers three – a very fine chopper.
Put it on the block, chop it off, said the butchers.

Barmaids three – a very fine candle.
Pull it out, pull it out, said the barmaids.

Cyclists three – two very fine pedals.
Round and round, round and round, said the cyclists.

Flutists three – a very fine flute.
Root diddly-oot, diddly-oot, said the flutists.

Painters three – a very fine brush.
Wop it up and down, up and down, said the painters.

Horsemen three – a very fine saddle.
Ride it up and down, up and down, said the horsemen.

Carpenters three – a very fine hammer.
Bang away, bang away, bang away, said the carpenters.

Surgeons three – a very fine scalpel.
Cut it round the knob, make it throb, said thesurgeons.

Fishermen three – a very fine rod.
Mine is two feet long, two feet long, said the fishermen.

Huntsmen three – a very fine horn.
Wake up in the morn with a horn, said the huntsmen.

Coalmen three – a very fine sack.
Want it in the front or the back, said the coalmen.

Durmmers three – a very fine drum.
Thump it right up to the stump, said the drummers.

Axemen three – a very fine axe.
Chop it right back to the stump, said the axemen.

Parsons three – a very fine book.
Goodness, gracious me, said the parsons.

Ladies three – a very fine cat.
Come and pet my pussy, said the ladies.

Hashmen three – a very fine backcheck.
Run it back and forth, said the Hashmen.

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A drinking club with a running problem

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