The 69th N2H3 Where is the Shiggy?
The 69th No Name began with much anticipation for shiggy. One of the hares Romancing the Bone had been tooting about this shiggy for weeks. On an 80+ degree day half-minds arrived at Brown’s Ferry Park overdressed in long sleeves, shiggy socks and God forbid pants ready for anything this trail might offer. Instead of promised shiggy, we jaunted through the suburbs of Tualatin with families pointing at this overdressed group and the tall man running in a rainbow sombrero. It was such a sweaty hot experience running uphill and around cold sacs that, Eager Wiener and Plan B felt the need to remove their shirts.The rest of us half-minds were asking where is the shiggy????? We arrived at the first beer check through some ankle high grass that had the pleasant background sound of I-5. Was this it ankle shiggy? At the beer check, halfminds cooled down with cans of Hamm’s tall boys, Rainer and sung along to “My Girlfriend is a Vegetable”.
After the beer check, our question was finally answered, we hit the much promised shiggy with twigs poking at any exposed skin, downed logs to hurdle and the constant threat of stinging nettle. Then we came upon a grassy, wet marsh land with fermenting mud that went up to most half minds calfs, and my poor twat. At the beer check, everyone with the exception of Chubby Chaser had mud packed on shoes on socks. Chubby swinging his absurdly long legs, while sitting on a log had miraculously clean socks. At this point, two white polo collared very clean park and rec. workers came up and said, “ Were sorry but alcohol isn’t allowed in the park.” Like true hashers, we kept drinking anyways.
At the end, Bimbo Tripod served us soggy balls due to someone putting water in the sauce. Plan B was grumpy as usual and forgot that there were three hares and not just two. Maybe, if he had sported a happy coat like Cock Jaw, Pabst, and Chubby Chaser he would have blessed us with a cheesy ass grin. Pabst was also wearing a colorful sarong from Indonesia. I really do think sarongs are Pabst’s favorite hash giveaway. It gives him an excuse to wear an item much like skirt but not. Chubby got called up for being Jesus because of his clean ass socks. Grab my Handle Bars forgot the 69 patches. As always, we swung low. This is a bit of novella for hash trash but that is what happens, when a bimbo writes while on two months off.
Oh, a special thanks to Eager Wiener and Plan B for my morning masturbation material. The only thing besides writing hash trash, loading hash flash and getting a pedicure, I felt the need to do today.
Your N2H3 Hash Flash,